Quixotic WLS: Essays: Humor, Sarcasm, & Misses

FAT HUMOR?

Why is it OK to make fun of Fat people?
Why is Fat is the last acceptable prejudice?

These type of questions/statements have so much wrong its hard to know exactly where to start... First, the premise is wrong. Its Not OK to make fun of anyone for any reason, so questions or statements start in quicksand. Thus, there is no "Why" for a question that starts with a false foundation statement. Next, the questions imply jokes or prejudice is only directed at Fat people, which is ridiculous.

I hear Blonde Jokes almost daily. Tall Jokes. White Jokes. Ethnic Jokes. Redneck Jokes. If you're not hearing the jokes, you need to get out more. Do a google, you will find them. And you know what, many of them are FUNNY.

I'm not going to try to explain what makes funny funny. If you want to suck the humor from a joke you merely need to try to explain it. I will say that I like clever humor, and often what makes something clever is by stating the obvious or frequent in a way that makes you understand the truth of it. :YAWN: See, told you it would suck the life out of it.

On the Street as I walk by

THIS is what most people are talking about. They are walking down the street and some idiot makes a comment. "Why is this OK?" It's NOT. These same idiots make comments to old people, disabled people, or any other people that are different. They're idiots, its what they do.

My wife and I are a "stand out" couple. We are so different in so many ways that we get attention, and we are remembered. Tall/Short. Fat/Thin. White/Black. Beast/Beauty. So, when I say idiots comment about many things, I know of what I speak. We get more than our share of stupid comments from idiots. Its NOT OK. We generally ignore them. Honestly, if we acknowledge the comment it just encourages them.

Do people nearby, that are not with the idiots, applaud? Do they even laugh? No. Typically, people roll their eyes. They feel bad for the target. Some even will tell the idiot their an idiot. For whatever reason, it's not acceptable.

So, WHY is the question asked to try to make us think it IS acceptable? Do the people asking these questions actually BELIEVE that such things are OK? What is the questioner looking for? Think hard.

Can Fat be FUNNY?

In my opinion, Yes. Unfortunately it is such a sensitive subject that for many people the pain of morbid obesity outweighs (pun intended) any humor.

I approach most topics from EVERY angle (can you tell?), one of which is often humor, another is often ridicule. In later topics I use both these, and while many people appreciate the intent there are others that do not.

I have had many posts removed from OH simply because I used humor to make my point. Some would say my posts were removed because I used ridicule. I guess it could be looked at as ridicule when I exaggerate an idea to magnify the flaw. For example, describing how I asked for a discount on a bag of Lays Potato chips because with WLS I could not possibly be expected to pay for a WHOLE bag of chips since I can only eat a few. Yes, its a silly statement, but that's the point. Asking for a discount at a buffet is equally silly.

SHALLOW HAL

"Shallow Hal" is often pointed at as the gold-standard of fat ridicule. For this reason, I did not watch it when it was in the theatres, I didn't rent it on video for quite a while. When I finally did watch it I was prepared to be offended. I was SHOCKED! Contrary to what I had heard and read, I found it wonderfully funny and sensitive to the plight of the severely morbidly obese.

I've read how hurt people were when they showed her breaking furniture, and other humiliations of being morbidly obese. Is simply SHOWING these things wrong? They did not exaggerate it, they did not embellish it. The Hal character was even supportive and stood up for the Fat Girls feelings.

I HAVE experienced breaking furniture, so I know EXACTLY how it feels. In point of fact, I've had clients that I was forbidden from sitting in certain chairs. I could empathize with the character. Perhaps this is why many Fat people take offense to the situation. They "saw" a skinny character experiencing it, and thought they were being made fun of.

The friend of Hal was a Jerk. The movie portrayed him as a jerk. He was the one that found flaws in women no matter what. Both men were overly concerned with appearances at the beginning of the movie. In their ways, they both learned to look into people, not just their looks.

The movie revealed something about people that is not flattering. People, even Morbidly Obese people, have double standards. One set of rules for "me" and another for "everyone else." Or one set for "us" (Morbidly Obese) and one for "them" (thin) people. It's somehow OK for "Us" to say things about Fat people, but if "they" say the EXACT same thing, they are being insensitive. Poppycock!

The message of the movie was clear: Beauty is what's inside.

I thought this was a great movie with a great message. I own it.

Other Notable Fat Movie Characters

"The Nutty Professor" - I thought this had just the opposite message as Hal. I don't recall all the details because, honestly, I didn't enjoy the movie that much, and as such I have not seen it in several years. I don't recall being offended by the humor though, just not impressed by it.

"Austin Powers" - Fat Bastard. Austin Powers has a lot of bathroom humor and much of it was embodied in Fat Bastard. As such, I did not care for the Fat Bastard Character. But, in it's defense, it also made fun of several other "taboos". In my opinion, parts of Austin Powers were hilarious, and parts were huge thuds. If this happens to be on HBO, I'll watch it if nothing else is on, and if I'm in the right mood.

Fat is Serious Stuff

Super Morbid Obesity is not funny. It is unhealthy. It is serious. It Kills. SMO folks are often very sensitive about it. Many SMO folks want to be invisible, so ANY acknowledgement of fat is not going to be well received. So, since obesity is so sensitive to so many people, humor about it or even around it should be avoided. NONSENSE! Someone is sensitive about virtually everything. If we avoid sensitive areas, the world will go silent.

Laughing or Crying

Really, having been Super Morbidly Obese, I have to admit that it is fraught with humorous situations. Painful? Yes. Embarrassing? Very. But there is humor in there too. Painful and Embarrassing can be very funny looking back. Sometimes, laughing at the situation can be liberating.

For my WLS, I almost wrote on my belly "CAUTION: Contents under pressure, open with care" but I feared there might be something in the ink. Also, I'm not sure you want your surgeons laughing while performing surgery.

I don't take myself overly serious, and even at 512 pounds I could find humor in absurd situations I found myself in. I say and do stupid stuff all the time. I can laugh at my stupidity. I can and do laugh at yours, too.

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ASKING FOR HELP FROM AN A.S.S.

I sometimes read posts on the message board, appeals on freeway off-ramps, even phone calls from relatives. The Topic: Getting Money... usually from me... for some worthy cause, such as paying for a Surgery, buying their next meal, or paying their power bills.

Speaking as a representative of "Association of the Selfish and Self-centered" (A.S.S.) I have to say that I hate, Hate, HATE being asked for money, regardless of the value or worthiness of the cause. This is not to say I won't donate, though being asked reduces the likelihood that I'll donate quite a bit. It's to say I hate being asked. I hate hearing the hard-luck story that goes with it, they are heart wrenching! I wonder if that's a coincidence? Do you know how HARD it is to say "No" after hearing such a heart wrenching story and how my few measly dollars can solve the problem? Even when I know it for the lie it usually is.

No, I will donate cash, anonymously, for causes I feel are worthwhile, just don't ask me for it. I do it anonymously, because one of the bylaws of being an A.S.S. is "If you give, don't give your name... it only tells them where to find you to ask for more."

For strangers, being an A.S.S. requires a "Show a man to fish" or the "help those that help themselves" approach. I will spend time and money on people now so that I don't have to spend even more time and money on them later. I will give ridiculous amounts of money for goods or services offered. I've thrown away many $10 cupcakes.

For family, the same rules apply. Being an A.S.S. is pretty strict. I have to perceive that they are doing something important and have thought through what next. For instance, I will not donate for move-in expenses if there is no plan to pay next months rent. I will go above and beyond if I have seen (again) effort and planning. I will never donate for the same thing twice.

If I received a letter from a 'loved one' asking for money, It would be a strike against them. First, my loved ones don't write letters, so it would be a ploy to prevent me from asking "the hard questions" If a loved one wants my money, they know the A.S.S. rules, and will talk to me, and be prepared with a plan. A.S.S.es are much more open requests for "loans", and since you will be more able to work post-op, this may be a better approach.

Many people will read this, and regardless of everything I've said, think I'm being a jerk, or sometime more cleverly, an Ass. Fine... I'm a jerk. I'm the kind of jerk that doesn't make a show of charity, sort of like that jerk Jesus said to do: "Don't let your right hand know what your left is doing" is about keeping charity QUIET. Now, I'm a Functional Atheist, but that Jesus guy did have some good ideas, and that was one of them. I wish more people that professed following him did what he said, but whatcha gonna do?

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ALL PAY HEED...

There have been many complaints that we all have different post-op plans and protocols, and that this causes much confusion and angst here in WLS-LAND.

Therefore, in my infinite wisdom, I have decided that we will declare a single set of WLS Post-Op rules, and that any advice from this day forward will be based on these uniform standards.

Lets face it, our surgeons are surgeons, not nutritionists. Most of them have not lived as WLS Post-Ops, we have. They don't "get it", we do.

Those of us that have nutritionists know that most of them do not know what WLS post-op life is like. They may know "normal" nutrition, but when it comes to WLS post-op nutritional needs, it's a whole different world. They don't "get it" either, we do. We have talked the talk and walked the walk.

So, without further ado, the rules:

1. Protein First. If you choose to count Protein Grams, I declare 60g a daily minimum. I will not take a stand on Protein Drinks at this time, so you may continue to drink them as you choose, but I may revisit this at any time.
2. Drink Fluids. If you choose to count Ounces, I declare 64oz a daily minimum. Flavored Fluids are OK. If soda makes you uncomfortable, don't drink it.
3. No drinking for 30 minutes before or after meals. Meals are when you actually CHEW, so protein drinks and vitamins do not apply.
4. Carbohydrates are Evil, eat them at your peril. If you choose to THINK or EXERCISE, you may eat more Carbohydrates.
5. Fat is Evil. But it tastes good. Don't eat too much.
6. Eat between 3 and 6 meals and/or snacks a day. How ever many you choose, be consistent.
7. Grazing is Bad. Once you are able to eat the minimums in #1, meal times should be limited to... oh... 27 minutes. If you are new post-op and having difficulty meeting # 1, take as long as you need.
8. Caffeine is Evil. Don't tell anyone if you drink it.
9. Sugar is Evil. You may eat any quantity you choose, up until your 'dump' level. This does not mean you should eat that much, but you may.
10. Calcium Citrate. Period.
11. Tylenol and Narcotics are OK, NSAIDs are not allowed no matter how much pain. Caveat: I will continue taking Tylenol, Narcotics, and NSAIDs, but I will not reveal that I take NSAIDs.
12. Vitamins are life. Take them.
13. Moderation in Moderation. If you can't be moderate, abstinence is a valid alternative.
14. No one is perfect. If you eat off-plan, at least enjoy it.
15. Walk post-op. This is NOT exercise, this is to keep you from getting a blood clot and dying.
16. Exercise is Desirable, but lets face it... its work. Do it if you can or want to. Exercise is recommended. Counting the steps you normally do each day is not exercise.
17. No Smoking. If you smoke, go outside. On the whole "Its unhealthy" topic... We all eat/do unhealthy, somehow its OK when its MY unhealthy thing, but BAD when its YOUR unhealthy thing, which I happen not to do.
18. This a secret rule. If I tell you I'd have to kill you.
19. Weigh once a week. You CAN'T gain or lose 5 pounds of fat in one day, so when the scale changes by 5 pounds, IT'S WATER. If you don't lose weight for 2 weeks, review your plan. If you don't lose weight for 6 weeks, do a bigger review of your plans. If you don't lose weight for 13 weeks... you're there.
20. You "CAN" eat anything you chose. If you can tolerate it and not dump off it, so much the better. Don't ask US what YOU can eat.

Ask me anything that is not on this list, and I will tell you the rule and add it to the list. As I will be the only one making the rules, they will remain consistent.

We will cover Restaurant choices another time.

These rules are not OPINION, they are not up for DISCUSSION, they are THE RULES. PERIOD.

You may now move about the forum safely.

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I AM WONDERFUL

Dedicated to those people (and you know who you are) who are better than us.

No really, its true.

You see, I reached goal. Over a year ago, actually. Well, no, I didn't have a goal, so I reached a 'Normal' BMI. I did it by following my surgeons program, taking my vitamins, and :gulp: exercise.

Because of my wonderful success at losing weight, I am better than everyone else that is struggling. Since I am wonderfully successful, everything I did is right, and if you are doing it different, you are wrong. There is only one right way and its my way.

Are these the things that make me wonderful and better than everyone else? Well... yes. But there's more!

I have been asked to be a representative of how this surgery works by speaking to people considering surgery. That's just how wonderful I am. Oh sure, they could have asked anyone else who achieved or even approached goal to do it, but no, they asked ME. Obviously, my surgeon and his staff recognize how special I am.

But wait, there's more!

I receive emails almost on a daily basis of how inspiring I am. ME. I have A LOT of people who get inspiration and hope from me or my story. For every reply to my post I may have 3 in an email...Do I take that and make a GOD complex out of it NO! If I can give inspiration, hope and joy to people you better believe I will.

Even complete strangers walk up to me and compliment my weight loss and tell me what an inspiration I am. I don't know, I must have a glow about me.

Am I perfect. No. By saying that I am trying to prevent people from flaming me that I think I am perfect. Just because I believe I am above everyone else doesn't mean I am perfect. I made a mistake once, so no, I'm not perfect.

I'm never negative. When I say things about other people that they are doing wrong, I am doing it from a positive, constructive place. I like to think of it as kicking someone in the arse to get them moving in the right direction. However, when anyone criticizes me, they are simply trying to tear me down in order to make their sorry lives seem better. See, when I belittle their "sorry lives" I am being constructive, not negative.

Of course, since I am smarter and more successful than you, if you disagree with me, you are being negative. All right-minded thinkers agree with me.

I keep coming back here after four years because I am a giving, caring person. If I can help just help any of you lower level beings up another step or two, then I will consider my down here with you worthwhile.

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HAIR

Here's MY off-the-wall, unsupportable, but equally valid, theory on Post-Op hair loss:

Most of us have heard stress too much, your hair will fall out. Well, this is true. Think about all the stresses: Surgery; Anesthesia; Insurance; Unsupportive Family; Pain; Finances; Worrying about Hair Loss.

That's a LOT of stress. No wonder peoples hair is falling out. It seems especially in people worried about losing their hair, which in itself has to make you think.

I've said many times that I did not stress one second over surgery, and I didn't. I had supportive family, I deal with pain exceptionally well, my finances at the time of surgery were better than in years, and I didn't worry about hair loss. I'm a pretty calm person. No hair loss.

I didn't get as much protein in the first couple weeks post-op as many people. I didn't take any special supplements. No hair loss.

I think Bobby McFerrin had it right... "Don't worry, be Happy"... and look at all that hair.

I think it's a pretty sound theory, as unsupportable hogwash goes. I'll hang my noticeably loose hair free hat on it.

Obviously, we are all different, and there may be different mechanisms at work in different people. This may be one of them.

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MEDIC ALERT

I believe that Medic Alert bracelets are:
1. Simply a way to draw attention to the surgery, to encourage people to ask about what the person professes to want keep private. "Oh, this?... I've had Gastric Bypass Surgery..."; or
2. Give people the illusion of control over the uncontrollable;

Medic Alert Bracelets and Necklaces are intended to speak for you when you are unable to. Thus, it only comes into play when you are UNCONSCIOUS in an EMERGENCY situation.

1. They make it look like jewelry, which emergency personal are NOT looking at for subtle or hidden messages, especially when they are trying to save your life.
2 "No N/G Tube" / "No Blind NG Tube", because if they insert a tube and upon encountering our pouch, FORCE IT, it could to major damage. WRONG. Anyone placing an N/G tube is trained to STOP when they encounter ANY resistance, and specifically NOT to force it. Further, N/G tubes are "virtually NEVER" (Which means extremely rarely, these were the words used by my local ER nurse) administered in emergency situations where the person is unconscious and unknown, as it is rarely a priority to put things into your stomach, which is the purpose of this tube. Further, I've seen the pictures of my pouch... 'pouch' is overstating the concept, so a tube would have to turn a right angle to puncture my pouch, which you must admit is not tube behavior. But that may only explain why my doc thinks them unnecessary, were someone with a different shape might have a different opinion.
3. "No NSAIDs". Yes, this is a HUGE problem, you're lying there unconscious and some EMT is trying to push Aspirin down your throat.
4. "Must Carry Water". Yes, I've seen this. The purpose is so the person can carry their water into movie theatres. Certainly not emergency situations.

When I run, I do wear a Dog tag style ID that will speak for me when I can't:

TEK (Not my Real Name)
LAS VEGAS, NV
ALLERGY: PENICILLIN
--- Flip Side ---
HOME: (702)xxx-xxxx
TEK-WIFE: (702)xxx-xxxx (Not her real name either)
PARENTS: (702)xxx-xxx

This way, if I am unable to speak for myself, the authorities can QUICKLY and EASILY talk to someone who can speak for me.

"Better Safe Than Sorry"

The reason of last resort, "Its better safe than sorry". IF it is indeed better to be safe than sorry, then we should wear helmets while we drive. We are statistically far more likely to suffer a head injury that could be prevented by a helmet. IF you aren't wearing a helmet, then YOU don't believe its better to be safe than sorry.

Medic Alert bracelets are not intended for "Better Safe Than Sorry", they are intended to:
1) Alert emergency medical personnel of a medical condition that may be directly related to the situation they are addressing. Examples: Diabetic Shock, seizures, etc.
2) Alert emergency medical personnel of the potential danger of "normal" procedures. Example: Alergy to "safe" drugs;

Horror Stories

We've all read horror stories by nurses about such things as a Gastric Tube being forced and almost causing (or causing) injury to a 'normal' patient, imagine the damage to our 'altered intestines'! Think about this... They goofed up by abandoning their training and forcing the tube on the 'normal' person. Based on this experience, normal people should wear Medic Alert Bracelets with "Follow your Training!" on them.

Let's face it, Medical people, especially ER people, have seen it all. Yes, terrible things CAN and DO happen. When terrible things happen, no matter how RARE they are, the ER folks are going to see it... Again and Again. They don't see the MILLIONS of people it doesn't happen to. It can skew ones outlook.

Horror Stories are effective at moving people. Its difficult to move anyone with "... and everything was OK."

Risk and Convenience

All day every day we make decisions that involve risk. EVERYTHING involves risk, along with other things such as convenience and probability. Using the Helmet example earlier: Driving in a car has risk, one of which is an accident. The likelihood of an accident is low, but we wear convenient safety equipment like seatbelts (that in many cases are automatic, in other cases it is annoying not to wear them because of alarms).

A helmet would add safety. How likely is an accident? Low. Where Seatbelts would help? Lower. Where a helmet would help? Still lower. But is it worth the Inconvenience of hair getting messed up, air circulation? Is it worth looking dorky? Basically, we would rather take that bit of risk for convenience and appearance.

It's the same issue for Medic Alert Bracelets.

Job 1

Really, all the above is neither here nor there. Weight and weight loss have for many people been a DEFINING factor of their lives. WLS, really, doesn't change that for many people, they've been doing it so long that WLS, weight, weight loss, and hopefully weight maintenance continue to be Job 1.

It is more of a mindset issue, the prominence you want your WLS to play in your life. Some people want WLS and eating to be Job 1, like it was pre-op. I want it to play a very little role.

UPDATE:

OK, I was convinced that I need something to speak for me when I can't, so I looked at the Medic Alert jewelry, and decided on a Necklace:

Tek (Not my real name)
Allergy: Penicillin
RNY Gastric Bypass
No NSAIDs – Narcotics Freely
Buffet at Childs Price
Must carry Water
(Continued on Bracelet)

AND, a Bracelet:

(Continued from Necklace)
Do not Force Scope
Calcium Citrate Only
Must take Vitamins
Must use Baby Utensils while eating
No Time Released Medications (Except Narcotics)
Did I mention the Discount At Buffets?
(Continued on Other Bracelet)

AND, another Bracelet:

(Continued from Bracelet)
Don’t tell anyone… my RNY is a secret
Watch out for loose skin
Must Walk after Surgery
NO fluids during meals
Protein First
May I see the Children's Menu?
(See Anklet for more more)

AND, an Anklet:

(Continued from Bracelet)
Its not the easy way!
NO DIET SODA
Carbs are Evil
No Sugar
Beware of Noxious Gas
"Plateau Buster Diet" Tattooed on Chest
(See Necklace for more)

After all, If I'm unconscious, I don't want anything left to chance!

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NEW PLATEAU BUSTER DIET

NEW 10 Day Plateau Buster

#1 - Do this for 10 days to break a plateau.

#2 - Drink 4 liters of Mountain Dew a day. Dr Pepper or Cola may be substituted, but you may not see the same dramatic results. The plus side of Coke is that any nails you happen to swallow will be dissolved.

#3 - You must eat 6 "meals" a day, preferably at Fast Food restaurants, but casual dining restaurants will do in a fix. Places that deliver are also good options.

#4 - You must consume at least 3 oz of the following foods, 5x a day
Potato Chips
Tortilla Chips
Really, anything that comes in a Bag opposite the soda isle
French Fries
Onion Rings
Again, fried just about anything will be good
Baked Potato (don't forget "the works")
Soda (Not Diet)
Chocolate anything
Ice Cream
Nuts
peanut butter

Be sure to avoid:
sugar free items
splenda
low or no calorie drinks

#5 - Drink with meals, this will help you get more food in.

#6 - Stop any exercise beyond clicking the TV Remote... get your spouse to do that if possible.

#7 - Don't forget your snacks.

#8 - Be sure to add sugar to drinks and slather on the butter. Remember, every calorie counts.

IF THIS DIET DOESN'T GET THAT SCALE MOVING, NOTHING WILL!

Remember, your tool only works if you work it. It really takes focus. Don't simply use your tool, become the tool. BE A TOOL.

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RESTAURANT CARDS

A “Restaurant Card” is a business cards sized card, often laminated, usually given by surgeons reading something to the effect of:

The holder of this card has had a surgical procedure which has permanently reduced their stomach capacity. Therefore… It is greatly appreciated if you would allow them to order from the children’s menu or to purchase half-sized adult entrees. Thank you for your consideration.

1. WLS Restaurant Cards differ from REAL Discount Cards such as AAA, Entertainment Book, etc. in one very important aspect: The REAL discounts are negotiated and agreed to by all parties in advance. The restaurant staff is briefed on how to handle the card. It is PRESUMPTUOUS to create and distribute a card asking/demanding a discount.

2. Restaurants are put into a losing position to start. If they say “no” to the card, which they had no part in creating or marketting, they are already making the customer unhappy. How is this fair even putting them in that position? Were I a restaurant owner, I would resent this card about as much as someone demanding a discount because they are a VIP (Very Important Person).

3. I had surgery. It was my choice to have my stomach modified so that I could only eat 3-5 ounces of food at a sitting. There are many people that have not had surgery that CHOOSE to eat 3-5 ounces of food at a sitting (imagine that!). I do not deserve a discount, or a special menu, any more than they do.

4. “I eat less than most children; I should pay what they pay”. Children’s prices are a marketing tactic to get parents to bring their kids (and themselves) to a restaurant. Children’s menu’s are not because children eat so little. Children’s menus are designed for children’s tastes. Bland and greasy.

5. Seniors Menus are also a marketing tactic to get seniors to come to the restaurant. If you’re not a senior, you don’t DESERVE a discount because you eat less than a senior. Many restaurants offer a ‘For Smaller Appetites’ Menu, this you may qualify for.

6. I don’t want the hostess, waitress, people behind me or near by, the busboy, or anyone else to know my medical history. It is none of their business, and I should not be making it their business simply to get a discount.

7. Buffets are “All you can eat for…” If all you can eat is 3-5 ounces, the price is the same as when you ate 30-50 ounces or 300-500 ounces. When you could eat 2, 3, or 4 times what the average person could eat, did you ask to pay more? Of course not. To remain morally consistent, you cannot ask to pay less now.

8. “I didn’t choose the buffet, my family did… Why should I pay when I only eat 3-5 ounces.” See #7. Further, you are there to be with your family or friends. Eating out now is even more about the company you keep rather that getting the most food for the least price. Actually, it should always have been about the company.

9. “I didn’t choose the buffet, my family did…” So, before WLS, did you pay less when you wanted Mexican food, but your family outvoted you and you ended up with Chinese? No, you went along to keep peace, to enjoy the company. Whatever your reasons were then, they’re the same now.

10. “I can’t eat all that, I can’t take leftovers home, I don’t want to waste it.” Waste it. Leaving leftovers is not the end of the world. In spite of what your mama said, leaving food on your plate is not a sin, and it will not help starving children in China for you to clean your plate now. You are not obliged to clean your plate. IN FACT, restaurants try to serve enough to satisfy large appetites and they expect people NOT to eat it all. They have trash cans out back for all the left over food.

11. Do you demand a discount at convenience store on a bag of potato chips because you can’t eat the whole bag, and a lot will go to waste? Why not, it’s the SAME THING.

12. Dinner at Chili’s cost $15 before WLS, and you left satisfied. Post-op, the same dinner costs $15 and you leave satisfied. The only difference is you leave food on the plate rather than nose marks. Often, rather than ordering a $15 dinner, you can order $10 appetizer, and you are ahead of the game.

13. "Restaurants should be considerate of WLS Patients." Restaurants should be considerate of EVERYONE. There are many groups of adults that eat less than 'normal', yet they do not expect discounts.

Obviously, or perhaps not so obviously, these arguments presume that people have integrity and that they desire their actions and opinions to be rational, supportable, and consistent. There are those that will do whatever is necessary to get a discount, which these arguments will not dissuade from this course.

On the flip side, this card will help me and my WLS to get me in to and out of other bothersome situations. With this card, I can cut in lines, speed through residential areas, skip traffic signals, all sorts of things. If anyone calls me on it, first beyond their pure NERVE for doing so, all I need to do is flash the card, and all is well.

Bow to my WLS... Bow to my WLS, World!

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